A while ago I suffered an safety gate related accident which involved a boob and my ribcage. I had inadvertently left the gate open but thought it was closed and leaned over it to put a stool on the other side but as it was actually open, instead I swung on it. Imagine me in a pose similar to supergirl only in my arms I hold a small green plastic stool........then imagine that my boob is pressed against the upper part of my chest wall by said gate....then imagine that the gate is swinging in such a manner as to make me slide off my humungous boob [that is a lie] and onto my rib cage. The result immediately was one of not being able to breathe, then followed swiftly by an excrutiating pain, resulting in my getting my breath back and uttering something like "OH DEAR!"....something like that but not those words........*&*%$**!!?**!!.........or something very similar I believe! I had trouble breathing for a few weeks and occasionally thought about seeking medical advice but never did!!!!
Now, this brings me to yet another safety gate incident a few days ago. This time, there was also a dyson flex added to the mix. I often leave my hoover and other appliances plugged in with the intention of finishing the job but as usual I don't and the flexes can be lying across busy thoroughfares in my house for days....how I don't break my neck I don't know....I seem to fall occasionally [though I do this without actually tripping up over anything anyway.] but it doesn't seem to motivate me to get myself organised!!! Anywa, on the day in question, I was in my utility "room" [I use the term "room" loosely, as it sounds better than the actual reality of it being a small cupboard type thing.....the old outside loo, which houses my washer and tumber and boiler, so leaves very little room for a humanoid such as myself]......emptying or filling the tumbler [a job which some time ago resulted in my being unable to walk properly for several weeks as I was at a peculiar angle due to the lack of space aforementioned].....then I turned round, tripped up on the dyson flex and hurtled towards my "safety" gate once more......in slow motion, it seemed and mouthing the words "OH NO........NOT AGAIN!!" this time without expletives!! I hit my thigh on one side of the gate and ricocheted onto the other side......with the other thigh. Then, again, I lost the ability to breathe, got it back, I then used the expletives along with a long howl of excrutiatingly painful painyness!!! I have taken a photo of the resulting bruises but have not the wherewithall to put that image on this computer!! The major bruise is mostly blue with a hint of purple....very nice shade actually but the smaller bruise has an edging of yellow....like a storm cloud with the sun shining behind it :)
Last night Stew [my DH darling husband ] removed some of the saftey gates and will be replacing the one which has caused all the trouble so far with one of the ones he has removed from elsewhere. These gates were supposed to stop my dogs from getting from room to room and for my cats to be able to get out of a room by jumping over the gates. However as things have developed and the cats and dogs are cohabiting in an unfriendly but reasonably non violent manner, there is now no need for them except for the one to the kitchen as I do not appreciate a Ricky round my ankles when I am holding sharp knives or pans of boiling liquids etc.
Right.....now off to continue doing stuff that needs doing today!!!!
Cheerybye!!
PS.....I haven't checked my spellings!!!!!
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